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Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time discus both these views, and give your opinion

#people #education #classes #part #child #focus #academics #school #time #discus
It's believed by some people that
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities in school play a significant role in children's
education
,
while
 others disagree with
this
viewpointment
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
 and regard academic lessons as important.In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will consider both views and offer mine.
To begin
 with, all educational institutions know that physical exercises have their own property to be among school subjects.
For instance
,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adolescents to keep their bodies fit
other
Correct your spelling
rather
show examples
 than enhance only academic skills.For performing well in all parts of
education
 it is important to be physically strong and have stabilized health.
In other words
,
sport
 is a solution for those who have health problems and
thus
, it was added into the school program to maintain students
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brain and body abilities as well
On the other hand
, it's clear that science and humanities
don't
Verb problem
aren't
show examples
 inferior in importance and have more benefits for long-term conditions.
For example
, universities and other high educational institutions tend to check the volume of knowledge and ability to solve tasks
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 analysing certain information.
Hence
,
this
 method of
student's
Change noun form
student
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 enrollment
adhered
Add a missing verb
is adhered
show examples
by
Change preposition
to by
show examples
 almost all universities in the world.
This
 system totally cuts down the importance of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
education
 for future priorities.So, physical
education
 at least may be helpful for those who
aiming
Change the form of the verb
aim
show examples
 to be professional sportsmen and bind it with
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
show examples
 life. In conclusion,
while
 being fitted complementsmets mental abilities of children, it is not essential in long-term plans due with
unlessness
Correct your spelling
sinlessness
uselessness
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 checking
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
 state in
Correct your spelling
high schools
show examples
highschools
Correct your spelling
high schools
show examples
Submitted by Saidazim on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses both views but lacks a clear opinion. Make sure to clearly express your own opinion in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement. Make sure to organize your ideas coherently and use cohesive devices to connect your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical education (PE)
  • holistic development
  • lifelong healthy habits
  • academic performance
  • core subjects
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • social skills
  • critical thinking skills
  • information age
  • balanced approach
  • holistic education
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