Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time discus both these views, and give your opinion

#people #education #classes #part #child #focus #academics #school #time #discus

It's believed by some people that

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities in school play a significant role in children's

education

while

others disagree with

this

viewpointment

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

and regard academic lessons as important.In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will consider both views and offer mine.

To begin

with, all educational institutions know that physical exercises have their own property to be among school subjects.

For instance

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

adolescents to keep their bodies fit

other

Correct your spelling

rather

show examples

than enhance only academic skills.For performing well in all parts of

education

it is important to be physically strong and have stabilized health.

In other words

sport

is a solution for those who have health problems and

thus

, it was added into the school program to maintain students

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

brain and body abilities as well

On the other hand

, it's clear that science and humanities

don't

Verb problem

aren't

show examples

inferior in importance and have more benefits for long-term conditions.

For example

, universities and other high educational institutions tend to check the volume of knowledge and ability to solve tasks

with

Change preposition

show examples

analysing certain information.

Hence

this

method of

student's

Change noun form

student

show examples

enrollment

adhered

Add a missing verb

is adhered

show examples

Change preposition

to by

show examples

almost all universities in the world.

This

system totally cuts down the importance of

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

education

for future priorities.So, physical

education

at least may be helpful for those who

aiming

Change the form of the verb

aim

show examples

to be professional sportsmen and bind it with

whole

Correct pronoun usage

their whole

show examples

life. In conclusion,

while

being fitted complementsmets mental abilities of children, it is not essential in long-term plans due with

unlessness

Correct your spelling

sinlessness

uselessness

Change preposition

show examples

checking

physical

Correct article usage

the physical

show examples

state in

Correct your spelling

high schools

show examples

highschools

Correct your spelling

high schools

show examples

Submitted by Saidazim on Fri Jul 03 2020

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay addresses both views but lacks a clear opinion. Make sure to clearly express your own opinion in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement. Make sure to organize your ideas coherently and use cohesive devices to connect your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical education (PE)
holistic development
lifelong healthy habits
academic performance
core subjects
teamwork
discipline
social skills
critical thinking skills
information age
balanced approach
holistic education

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Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time discus both these views, and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Pop music is extremely popular around the world. Why do you think this genre of music is so popular worldwide? Discuss your thoughts and give details and examples to support your opinion.

You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch.

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countrysid.