IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#developments #lives #people
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Technological revolutions have changed the
way
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, an individual conducts their
life
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.
However
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, some
people
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 have the opinion that
,
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apply
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 older innovation in technologies has greater benefits as compared to current development in it. I totally disagree with
this
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 opinion and believe that
,
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apply
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 it depends on the society's attitude, how they use
this
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 invention of
technology
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 for benefitting their
life
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. In the 19th century, when the industrial revolution took place, the
way
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 in which the
people
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 managed their
life
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, had changed in a more positive
way
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.
For instance
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, changes took place in how
people
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 use transportation
by
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with
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 the advent of cars, trains,
Correct word choice
and airplanes
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airplanes
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aeroplanes
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,
also
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level
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the level
a level
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 of comfort of
people
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also
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 increased and they
also
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 started to enjoy the changes in the world and
people
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 used it in
positive
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a positive
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way
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 rather than negative
way
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 and
that is
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 the reason why
people
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 consider the older
technology
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 as much more advantageous.
Therefore
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, from these we can say that
,
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apply
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 the technological invention of the past has a much more positive impact on the social
life
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 of the society.
On the other hand
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, in the recent past, there has been an internet revolution, which has made
life
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 much simpler and easier.
For example
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, with the help of one click, we can do lots of things like controlling a plane,
transaction
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transactions
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of
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apply
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money can be done, learning is possible on
Correct article usage
the world
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world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
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, all the information is available on it and many more, but the problem is,
people
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 are using it in much negative
way
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, and
that is
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 the real complication, not the
technology
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, they are using for creation of virus, nuclear and atomic bombs, hacking the bank accounts of peoples.
Hence
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, from
these
Add a comma
these,
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 we can say that
,
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apply
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creation
Correct article usage
the creation
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 of recent
technology
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 is a boon, but it should be used with proper concise, for the harmony of the
people
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 and not for the destruction of the
people
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's
life
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. In conclusion, there is no issue
in
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with
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 the recent development of
technology
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 as
people
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 say that the
technology
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 of the past was much better. These recent
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technology
Change the determiner
technologies
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 are the best inventions of all time, but the only problem is that
,
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apply
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 more
people
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 are using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 for negative
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 rather than
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 development.
Submitted by jay tank on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and focused topic sentence that directly addresses the essay question.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
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