IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
It is true that online shopping is gaining popularity,
however I
Accept comma addition
however, I
 disagree that it will cause all the brick and mortar store to close down in the future. I think that the experience of purchasing something directly from a traditional shop is still more enjoyable. As compared to online shopping, I am able to touch and feel the item I am about to buy directly in the shop that I visit.
For example
, it is hard to know whether a pair of
shoe
 fit my feet perfectly just by browsing the images of the
shoe
.
Furthermore
, the colour of the
shoe
that is
 shown
in
Suggestion
on
 the internet is usually inaccurate as compared to the actual product. I have been disappointed several times when I received the
shoe
 that I bought online just to find out that the blue colour was darker from what I had seen in the website. Other than that, buying from shops in the shopping centre is
also
 faster and safer.
Although
 the process of ordering online is faster, but usually it takes several days for the item to get delivered.
In addition
, there is
also
 some risk associated
to
Suggestion
with
 the delivery service, as it might get delayed or even the item might get damaged during the transportation process. In
term
Suggestion
terms
 of safety, purchasing something from a seller that I do not see can be risky.
For instance
, some online sellers might be sending me fake goods, and they might misuse the credit card and personal information that I provided during the transaction. In conclusion, even though e-commerce is increasing in number, I do not think that it will cause the traditional shops to cease operating.
Submitted by kuro on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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