IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Spending money on art is waste ,so invest on public sector, agree or disagree

#money #art #waste #sector
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Art and
culture
Use synonyms
 are heritage and assets of a nation which depicts the young generation the lifestyles, traditions, and historic moments of their elders through music,
theaters
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
theatres
, painting, and antiques.
However
Linking Words
, some people think that the government should use more money on the benevolence of civil services rather than on music and
theater
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
. On the one hand,
government
Suggestion
the government
 is promoting exhibitions
on
Suggestion
of
 art and
culture
Use synonyms
 on
large scale
Suggestion
a large scale
 not only for fund-raising but
also
Linking Words
 to explore some new hidden talent in every area. These events help new artists showcase their works and provide a platform
to
Suggestion
for
 people to visit events related to
culture
Use synonyms
 and traditions. Artworks
offer
Suggestion
offers
 a welcome break from the humdrum of monotonous life and daily routine
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people oppose these
ideas they think that
Suggestion
ideas that they think
 government should give more importance to public issues and affairs rather
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 investing money in these unprofitable and worthless functions and gatherings.
However
Linking Words
, I do not believe these arguments stand up
in
Suggestion
to
 scrutiny. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that nothing is better than art and
culture
Use synonyms
, which has potential to bring people together and strengthen social cohesion in society.
Linking Words
such
Suggestion
Such
 events motivate people towards art and
culture
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Sila Muntaha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: