IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that watching sports in one’s free time is just a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #sports #one’s #time #waste
The table
illustrate
Suggestion
illustrates
 the quantity of people in each age group walking in certain sectors in the UK between 1998 and 2006 In general, the numbers of employees devoting in technology field made up the largest part of people's age group in
period
Suggestion
a period
 of time. It is
also
 notable that the trends remained the same over
period
Suggestion
a period
the period
 of time given, except technology industry. The quantity of employment in hotel&catering increased moderately in the year of 2006 compared with the year of 1998. On the
countrary
very opposed in nature or character or purpose
contrary
, the number of employees in technology boomed drastically in 2006 compared to which in 1998, from 5497 in 1998 to 187600 in 2006 in young adults aspect.
However
, the employment of building declined remarkably in 2006,
for instance
, the numbers of youngsters in
building
Suggestion
the building
 was over 112500 in 1998 and dropped to only 86430 in 2006. The circumstance of education varied considerably in young adults and
retirers
someone who has retired from active working
retirees
, but employees in
education industry
Suggestion
the education industry
 between
given
Suggestion
has given
is given
 age group merely changed slightly.
Submitted by bee Kchee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress reduction
  • communal activity
  • unwind
  • enhance
  • social bonds
  • determination
  • inspire
  • motivate
  • productive
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • personal development
  • excessive consumption
What to do next:
Look at other essays: