IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some employers want to contact their staff at all times. Does this development have more advantages then disadvantages?

#employers #contact #staff #times #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more employees tend to be engaged in a working process even during their off-work
time
Use synonyms
, days off and vacations.
This
Linking Words
 trend has already let to the increase of productivity of the companies,
although
Linking Words
 the staff considers that
this
Linking Words
 innovation ruins their personal
life
Use synonyms
. Presently managers of the companies and enterprises would like to gain more profits, though permanent engagements of the company’s employees into coordination and communication. Whether a member of the company’s team at work or at home, he or she can efficiently and conveniently commit to the well being of the company with the help of modern devices.
As a result
Linking Words
, enterprises and small companies are able to promptly respond to changing market conditions and operate smoothly, which gives them an advantage over their competitors. While
this
Linking Words
 is a positive introduction for the employers there is a crucial drawback for regular working staff and clerks. When they are permanently involved in a workflow and are being available and on-line 24/7 their work-
life
Use synonyms
 balance tends to get unhealthy and negatively influence their private
life
Use synonyms
 as well as their general
life
Use synonyms
 satisfaction.
For example
Linking Words
, studies show that the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 of a person who works during his leisure
time
Use synonyms
 is significantly lower than the one of an employee who is not contacted by the boss on holidays. The
first
Linking Words
 group of employees is prone to heart diseases more often and regularly exposed to stress. In conclusion, while corporations benefit from their stuff engaged in a workflow all the
time
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 mode of work is disadvantageous for employees and triggers their diseases and
life
Use synonyms
 dissatisfaction. I believe that off-work
time
Use synonyms
 is an essential right of all workers and their private
life
Use synonyms
 should not be violated by their management and coworkers.
Submitted by Maria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: