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Band 3.5

Some people believe that uniforms at work places aren’t necessary. Do you agree or disagree with it? Give your own opinion and include examples from your experience

#people #uniforms #work #places #aren’t
The some British after retired which live in a parent care home with older generation under healing with nurses. It is argued that some by
government
 should not pay for caring those kind of people and family members require to pay caring services. In my opinion,
government
 should pay cares for
older generation
Suggestion
the older generation
older generations
an older generation
. If
specific treatment
Suggestion
a specific treatment
 requires to old people, their families should pay extra payments.
Firstly
, people who
works
Suggestion
work
 at least thirty years that means they has been trying to develop own country.
Also
, they spend variety of values
such
 as own knowledge, professional skill and spend a lot of time for lifetimes.
Thus
,
government
 should take care of the British after they retired. It would be
responsibility
Suggestion
responsible
 for
government
.
Although
, caring services might quite wealthy and sometimes
government
 encounter financial difficulty
for
Suggestion
in
 paying components. If older has been
increase
Suggestion
increasing
, it would be challenging for
spend
Suggestion
spending
 money for those people.
Thus
, people who required specific treatments in order to
caring
Suggestion
care
 when family members should pay some parts for parents. In conclusion, parents live
in
Suggestion
at
 home with other people who old people are cared by Britian’s
government
. Some parts are
argued
Suggestion
arguing
this
 situation by governments should not pay caring services for retirees.
Government
 should care British people who getting
old but
Accept comma addition
old, but
 extra treatments are should pay by family members.
Submitted by nomio baganaa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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