A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

#school #renovations #suggestions #change #changes

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to share my suggestions and ideas regarding the renovation of the

school

. Recently, I read the article in the newspaper that

school

wants suggestions about the

infrastructure related

Add a hyphen

infrastructure-related

show examples

improvements. I have done my education in the same

school

and know the issues faced by students. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

the major issues are with the laboratories

such

as computers, physics and chemistry. These labs require new

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

as most are old and do not work as expected.

In addition

this

, the projectors that are installed in the classrooms are either not working or do not have the clarity which is impacting the learning practices. In my view, better and upgraded computers, high-tech labs and sufficient good quality projectors are required on

priority

Correct article usage

a priority

show examples

basis along with other non-essential changes

such

as expanding playground and renovating classes.

Recommendations

Correct article usage

The recommendations

show examples

that I am sharing are based on my experience in the

school

. All the

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

can be purchased by either directly contacting any multinational hardware company or their agents to buy authenticated licensed products. I look forward to

see

Change the verb form

seeing

show examples

the changes in the

school

. Regards, Barry Richardson

Submitted by MEHAK on Mon Jul 06 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

190 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Organizing tours to promote places and communities is becoming more and more popularity. Is it positive or negative development for the local people and environment？

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Nowadays some individuals behave in an anti-society way, such as committing a crime. In general, it is the society to blame. What causes the anti-social behaviors of individuals? Who should be responsible for dealing with it?

The grwoth of online shopping will one day Lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.Do you agree or disagree?