IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #music #cultures #age
Music
 has a magical vibrate to everyone, there are no age limit and not reflect only one place, the culture I agree with that. One famous
lirist
 say
music
 is a medicine that collaborating with others. I am discussing about those things in
this
 essay.
First
,
Music
 gives relaxation when we listening that will help to gain peaceful mind.
For example
, India have different cultures, each state has a different language, melody tunes and variations of dances like Kuchipudi, Bharathanatyam and Manipuri etc. We are listening all variations of
music
 nowadays, due to technology development that could be introduced to us about beside state of
music
 even more world
music
 too. Indirectly develop our friendship
,
Accept space
,
good thinking about that.
Secondly
, everyone can enjoy songs, some persons like old songs, some are new but age is not significant there.
For instance
, One granddaughter and grandmother at home, they happy to hear Western
music
 even though their ages are different. That could be implement family affection with understanding. I heard on one channel opera can reduce mental health diseases. The conclusion,
Music
 is the best way to know about another culture and build the relationship between younger and older person.
Submitted by chigurupati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: