Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

happiness
Suggestion
Happiness
depends on the
person
or it depends on the other factors.
Somebelieves
Suggestion
Some believes
it depends on the
person
. In my opinion, it is solely depends on that
person
's action not the other factors. On one hand
person
Suggestion
a person
can state
happiness
relies on the
person
. As an example, a
person
can say eating his favourite food makes them happy or travelling to the places he love makes him feel happy.
Moreover listening
Accept comma addition
Moreover, listening
to a favourite song or achieving their life goals, make them feel
happiness
Suggestion
happy
and I believe it is true that doing what they like can affect their psychological state. In my personal experience, I like to play computer games and it makes me happy, so that it's my actions caused me to be happy.
On the other hand
people will say that
happiness not
Accept comma addition
happiness, not
only depends on the individual, but
also
other factors like surrounding environment. As an example, children like to get gifts from their parents so that their parents are the
second
factor that makes them happy. Mostly elderly people like to visit less crowded parks or greener forests because they love to be in a silent environment because of that silent environment or park becomes the other factor. But to full fill the
second
factor one must take action. In conclusion, it is hard to define how a
person
feel happy. In my opinion, I believe that the
happiness
does not depend on the other factors, but the individual's actions because at the end it is that individual's action
cause
Suggestion
causes
him to be happy.
Submitted by Tk Sabhaya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: