Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

#people #happiness #responsibility #individuals #factors

happiness

Suggestion

Happiness

depends on the

person

or it depends on the other factors.

Somebelieves

Suggestion

Some believes

it depends on the

person

. In my opinion, it is solely depends on that

person

's action not the other factors. On one hand

person

Suggestion

a person

can state

happiness

relies on the

person

. As an example, a

person

can say eating his favourite food makes them happy or travelling to the places he love makes him feel happy.

Moreover listening

Accept comma addition

Moreover, listening

to a favourite song or achieving their life goals, make them feel

happiness

Suggestion

happy

and I believe it is true that doing what they like can affect their psychological state. In my personal experience, I like to play computer games and it makes me happy, so that it's my actions caused me to be happy.

On the other hand

people will say that

happiness not

Accept comma addition

happiness, not

only depends on the individual, but

also

other factors like surrounding environment. As an example, children like to get gifts from their parents so that their parents are the

second

factor that makes them happy. Mostly elderly people like to visit less crowded parks or greener forests because they love to be in a silent environment because of that silent environment or park becomes the other factor. But to full fill the

second

factor one must take action. In conclusion, it is hard to define how a

person

feel happy. In my opinion, I believe that the

happiness

does not depend on the other factors, but the individual's actions because at the end it is that individual's action

cause

Suggestion

causes

him to be happy.

Submitted by Tk Sabhaya on Tue Jul 07 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

individual responsibility
personal mindset
proactive steps
self-improvement
socio-economic status
relationships
environmental conditions
external factors
positive attitude
pursuit of happiness
facilitate
hamper
proactive engagement
sense of achievement
conducive environment

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Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More students are travelling abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather that secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In writing task describe the data in the two figures below that relate to banks in the UK. Write two or three paragraphs describing the information included in the two figures.