IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organisation #people
It is true that large organizations and famous corporations are usually operated by senior leaders. From my perspectives, I believe that young individuals have great potentials to become effective and outstanding leaders.
First
 of all, one of the primary reasons why young people should be leaders is that they have up-to-date knowledge and understanding of the modern world. In more detail, young people are provided with the latest knowledge and information
of
Suggestion
about
 the world and its trends.
As a result
, they are aware of the society’s demands and they can quickly introduce plans or products to satisfy their customers. To illustrate, a young entrepreneur in China has been producing the famous custom face masks for consumers as it is considered to be unique and amusing. Clearly, with the modern minds of young people, many companies can offer products that are highly requested.
Second
 of all, young people are usually creative and open-minded and they are not as conservative as some old leaders, which proves to be important during the globalization era. Young leaders are more likely to find modern and effective methods to run organizations that employees can benefit from as well as
propose
Suggestion
proposed
 new strategies to boost the sales of the company.
Furthermore
, they can study from research papers or take advice from their mentors so as to improve their leadership style and acquire knowledge to become better leaders.
For instance
, there are many CEOs of large-scale companies
such
 as Steve Jobs or Mark
Zuckerberg having
Accept comma addition
Zuckerberg, having
 succeeded from a very young age due to their brilliant innovations. In conclusion,
although
 seasoned directors are more popular among corporations these days, I still believe that junior directorship is a more desirable solution.
Submitted by Kim Oanh Nguyễn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: