Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #countries #society #immigrants #custom #codes #behavior

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The past 50 years have seen

dramatic increase

Suggestion

a dramatic increase

in the availability of

migration

Use synonyms

. Some people are thinking it is

convenience and higher fee

Suggestion

a convenient and higher fee

convenient and higher fee

;

however

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

essay

refers to the speaker or writer

intend to argue that

migration

Use synonyms

can bring detrimental

affects

property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business

effects

to the people that departed in abroad.There are two primary reasons for

this

Linking Words

First

Linking Words

of all, it is an undeniable fact that

migration

Use synonyms

to excess results in major problems.

For instance

Linking Words

, people should obey to local customs and behaviours when they arrived in the new country rather than forget their nationality.

However

Linking Words

, they moved in that place for better employment opportunities due

Accept comma addition

to, such

such

Linking Words

as in our country could not

developed

Suggestion

develop

higher salaries, economy for living fully

therefore

Linking Words

some people moved

for

Suggestion

from

since

living to desire better life quality and for escaping harmful factors.

Neverthless

Suggestion

Nevertheless

, more people want to reside in developed countries so that they

rellocate

manifest or bring back

reflect

allocate

country which have potent economy.

Especially they

Suggestion

Especially as they

departed in Russia because that place convenient for educating, working and holiday

making

Suggestion

makers

. They can get higher salary in every type of works where they

faged

reproduced fraudulently

forged

f aged

aged

forget

Further

Linking Words

and even more importantly, though

migration

Use synonyms

can bring countless challenge anyway people prefer to moving. One particularly good

example people

Accept comma addition

example, people

can not

cannot

find good jobs because of lack of

languge

a systematic means of communicating by the use of sounds or conventional symbols

language

skills.

On the other hand

Linking Words

disproportionate burden

Suggestion

the disproportionate burden

a disproportionate burden

mainting

keep in a certain state, position, or activity; e.g., "keep clean"

maintaining

immigrants leads to tension in the society. It is

also

Linking Words

interesting to note that many people to

cross the

Accept comma addition

cross, the

borden

an onerous or difficult concern

burden

border

for seeking

security

Suggestion

secure

and safe future for their children.

For instance

Linking Words

, most people to approaching in the

Europian

of or relating to or characteristic of Europe or the people of Europe

European

Union for escaping wars. By way of conclusion,

refers to the speaker or writer

beleive

accept as true; take to be true

believe

that

goverments

the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit

governments

government's

will create conditions

connects a noun with the preceding word

for

people do not migrate in foreign countries. As well as overseas

can not

cannot

provide with cosiness for

living

Accept comma addition

living, then

then

Linking Words

they try hard working for reaching better life.

Submitted by Gulrukh Shodmonkulova on Tue Jul 07 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

immigrants
integrated
adapt
customs
codes of behavior
social integration
cultural heritage
identity
estranged
mutual respect
harmoniously
assimilation
multicultural environment
inclusivity
diversity

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Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree ?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many government think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required?

In recent years, “responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?