IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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It is true that
appearance
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 nowadays helps people to take more advantages in their
work
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.
However
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, while some businesses advise their workers to get elegantly dressed, others attach much more importance to
quality
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 of
performance
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 than presence. From my respective, these statements are justifiable to a certain extent. In some companies, dressing smartly is obligatory because they believe that it represents whether their employees are orderly or they really respect the company discipline.
Moreover
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, an attractive
appearance
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also
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 makes a good impression on partners or customers.
Therefore
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, it might make a great impact on the development of the business.
For example
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, these organisations
such
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 as marketing, services, entertainment will require a good presence as an essential factor when they interview employees because it plays an important role towards public opinion. Meanwhile, some businesses think that
appearance
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 is not a necessary element in
work
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. They expect a good
quality
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 of
performance
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 from their workers because they believe that it is the most important thing which contributes to the success of the company.
Also
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, dressing without deterrence help their employees feel more comfortable so that they can
work
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 more effectively.
For instance
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, many organisations
such
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 as Google or Facebook allow their employees to wear freely while they demand a professional qualification and a high
quality
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 of
performance
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. In conclusion, both
appearance
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 and the
quality
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 of
work
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 are integral and principal. It is advisable for people who interact directly to customers or public to have a better presence while people who
work
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 indirectly should have a high
quality
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 of
performance
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. From my respective, it depends on the categories of the organisations and what kind of job you are working.
Submitted by Hương Mai on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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