Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world's fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a debate that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
travelling by
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has to be stopped, as it's the cause of
an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun pollution in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
increased
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

pollution and is a burden on
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
oil products. I don't agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as the aeroplanes have reduced the distances and the journey has become comfortable. On the one hand, there is a belief that the index of the polluted
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has increased in the recent past, and it's related to more travelling by
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
planes.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as the airline industry is the largest consumer of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
petroleum sources,
so
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
it's considered that it may end the world's fuel resources. So to say, there should be a restriction on
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

mode of transport, in order to save
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
energy
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to make the environment clean.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the WHO has announced that the
Eco friendly
Add a hyphen
Eco-friendly

It appears that Eco friendly is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
aircraft engines have to be developed to counter the smoke level in the
air
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

era of science and technology, the world has become a global village and one can fly from one corner of the earth to another in less than 24 hours. It is possible
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the technological advancement and new inventions of helicopters and
fixed wing
Add a hyphen
fixed-wing

It seems that fixed wing is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
machines, and I
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

back
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

idea.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fast mode of travelling has a positive impact on the growth of business, as the transportation of goods has become easier.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
tourism has flourished too much,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

enhancing the social ties between the countries.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the UAE government has developed Dubai as an economic hub by introducing multiple airlines
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the state.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in order to meet the fast pace of life, the mode of transportation has to be swift. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way, the country will not only remain connected with the rest of the globe
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
but will
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

flourish by leaps and bounds.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The response needs to clearly express the writer's position on the given topic and provide a comprehensive analysis of the issue. More specific examples and evidence would improve the response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and cohesive structure. The introduction and conclusion need improvement, and the essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
lexical resource
The lexical resource shows some range of vocabulary, but there are also inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. More precise and varied vocabulary related to travel and environmental issues would enhance the essay.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in the essay. More complex sentence structures and accurate use of grammar would improve the overall coherence of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: