Some industrialised countries have serious environmental problems. The damage to the environment is an inevitable result when a country tends to improve the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays industrialized nations tend to
lead to
Verb problem
be
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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about pollution
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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released by factories that
was
Change the verb form
were
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constructed to provide citizens with civilization.
This
essay will elaborate on both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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and negative effects of outcomes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
caused by
refine
Wrong verb form
the refining
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of living standards. A great
number
of regions tend to construct plants with the target
to create
Change preposition
of creating
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national products.
For instance
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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of them
located
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are located
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close to
city
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the city
a city
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with the aim
to transport
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of transporting
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manufactured goods easily,
however
governments do not consider about consequences that may be caused by emissions. Other humans believe that having factories
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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not make
huge
Add an article
a huge
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impact on
milieu
Correct article usage
the milieu
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, despite
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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fact that pollution is the
number
one issue that an agenda of instance debate.
In addition
to pollution, deforestation may lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of fauna in urban
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
. A huge
number
of trees
being
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are being
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cut to make way for buildings that will
build
Wrong verb form
be built
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up for providing
Change preposition
to provide
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human beings with better facilities.
However
, if citizens construct their housing by themselves, it will be more problematic with regard to the issue that a greater
number
of plants will be
cutting
Wrong verb form
cut
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down. Law representatives try to afford modification with the unavoidable impact on nature. By providing dwellers with the work place a great
number
of jobs will be profitable. A huge
number
of money will be Investigated in forest conservation. Many
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
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have found that countries with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high salaries are more allocate financial support in the field of environment and the main reason is that their industries become independent of natural resources
such
as coal and oil. From what has been discussed, one can reach a conclusion that emissions and deforestation with the purpose to be industrialized caused dangers to the milieu,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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employment could be
source
Add an article
a source
the source
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of finance that might be useful in saving flora.
Hence
, I believe that human beings with being closely connected to nature have to protect the main resource of living.
Submitted by Dilnaz Torina on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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