IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

There is an increasing number of people who do not know their neighbor. What causes this situation? How to solve it? Give your own idea.

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The diagrams illustrate the way in which cameras were
developing
Suggestion
developed
 from 1839 to 2000. Overall, it can be clearly seen that cameras became smaller and more complex during two centuries.
Also
Linking Words
 could be mentioned that inventions were becoming lighter due to different materials decades by decades. According to the
first
Linking Words
 photo,
the earliest
Suggestion
the earlier
 model, the
Daguerrotype
a photograph made by an early photographic process; the image was produced on a silver plate sensitized to iodine and developed in mercury vapor
daguerreotype
, was invented in 1839.
This
Linking Words
camera
Use synonyms
, which was made from wood, was 36
centimeters
a metric unit of length equal to one hundredth of a meter
centimetres
 in length and consisted of three box-shaped sections.
Linking Words
Also it
Accept comma addition
Also, it
 had
brass lens
Suggestion
a brass lens
 at the front side. Almost 50 years later
second
Linking Words
camera
Use synonyms
, Kodak No.1, came onto the market. As it is shown in the illustration, the metal
camera
Use synonyms
 was shaped like a cube with 16
centimeters
a metric unit of length equal to one hundredth of a meter
centimetres
 in width, and it was twice smaller than
Linking Words
first one
Suggestion
the first one
. Following that, Leica 1 was released in 1925. It was noticeably narrower than previous ones and had numerous buttons along the top.
However
Linking Words
, the material remained the same, as in Kodak
camera
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the digital
camera
Use synonyms
 was introduced in 2000. It is clear from the data that the
camera
Use synonyms
 was the smallest above all.
Linking Words
Moreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
 was the
first
Linking Words
 invention, which was made of plastic and had the zoom lens. It is interesting to note that it was equipped with LCD screen and internet connection.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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