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At the present time , the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults ,compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people
The idea that the
major
Suggestion
majority
population
 of some countries are the youth in comparison with the elderly has its own drawbacks and values. I believe that
this
 trend could have more positive points than harmful. In recent years the number of aged people
have decreased
Suggestion
has decreased
 in comparison with the elderlies
.
Accept space
.
 To be
more precisely
Suggestion
more precise
, in some developing countries number of fresh and juvenile
population
 are higher, which leads to have a better future
,
Accept space
,
 It means that the more young people in
country
Suggestion
a country
the country
 the more workforce. To be more precisely, when the fresh people consist of the
major
Suggestion
majority
population
 of a city
,
Accept space
,
 they would able to work hard for a long time
,
Accept space
,
 because they want to prove their abilities in the eyes of the employer with
the lower
Suggestion
the lowest
 income
,
Accept space
,
 so it would be beneficial for both the employer and employees.
Another
Suggestion
Other
 benefits of
this
 trend would regard to the
government
.
That is
 to say, when the younger people are ample enough in the society , the
government
 would not force to pay a huge amount of pension to the elderlies in their tiredness period, meaning that the
government
 could earn money by imposing taxes and apply it for the rest of other citizens including the improvement of infrastructures ,and state –of-the –art medical centres to cure disabled patients with lower income. To conclude, in some nations the number of young
population
have been increased
Suggestion
has been increased
,
Accept space
,
 the benefits of
this
 trend do more than its harmful.Not only is it better for the whole society
,
Accept space
,
 but
also
 for the
government which
Accept comma addition
government, which
 assist it to make some facilities for the dwellers.
Submitted by Diba on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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