IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people.

#people #person #opportunity
In
this
world people
Accept comma addition
world, people
 think a lot of things and one of them is
money
.
their
Suggestion
Their
 thing if
person
 have
money
their
people in general
they
 can help anyone and anytime they like.
yes i
Accept comma addition
Yes, I
yes I
Yes I
Yes i
 do agree with
statement
Suggestion
the statement
 till some extend and will discuss
pros
Suggestion
the pros
 and cons of the statement. Being rich is a blessing, everyone in
this
 world are not blessed with enough
money
 to live their lives some people hardly can have one meal a day. I and many other people have seen how celebrities and other businessman came forward when people were facing hard time like floods,
earthquakes etc
Accept comma addition
earthquakes, etc.
earthquakes etc.
 and most recently is
covid
overlaid or spread or topped with or enclosed within something; sometimes used as a combining form
covered
carved
curved
-19 where people have faced many casualties, many lost their jobs and most of them are suffering with
this
 virus.
we
Suggestion
We
 have read the news that how celebrities and other people donated
money
 and help poor people to transport from one place to their home town. It is true that some people take advantage of being good to them, now-a-days some force people do donate
money
 to them when
their
in or at that place
there
 are capable to
work
Accept comma addition
work, for
for
instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
 my area
their
in or at that place
there
 is a
person
 who donate monthly groceries
to
Suggestion
for
 every poor
person
 in my area. Some people are well
off but
Accept comma addition
off, but
 still
their
people in general
they
 go and take those groceries and who are actually in need will never get those
type
Suggestion
types
 of facility like
person
 who is handicap, who don't have a father or mother to run a house, children can't go to school because their parents
cant
can not
can't
 effort. At the
end i
Accept comma addition
end, I
end I
 like to conclude that the most important thing about being rich is to help
person
Suggestion
a person
the person
 who is genuinely in need, but not the
person
 who is pretending.
Submitted by Aijaz Farruq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: