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Band 4

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#wealth #guaranty #happiness
In today’s
life
, people are busy at work or their own business to make
money
 so that they can live
happy
Suggestion
a happy life
happy lives
life
. To make their
life
 or family
life
 with joy, they are working hard by leaps and bound. Some people think that
instead
 of focus on
money
 we should live our
life
 with joy and
to
Suggestion
with
such
 people
money
 is not worth as happiness to their family. And some people contradict
this
 statement they think
money
 matters at the end. From my
view point
a mental position from which things are viewed
viewpoint
, I fully agree, if we
money
 we can fulfil our needs and wants or can provide better facilities
to
Suggestion
for
 our family. There are several reasons for
this
.
First
 one is our family satisfaction and better
life
. To provide these two main comforts, everyone is working to earn some
money
.
Secondly
, education which is very significant for everyone. If we have
good source
Suggestion
a good source
 of
income than
Accept comma addition
income, then
income then
 we can provide better education resources to our
children which
Accept comma addition
children, which
 is a need of
present time
Suggestion
the present time
. Because they
also
 need various resources to fulfil their dreams or to get knowledge. Better
health
 and better lifestyle are
also
 a part of why people are working hard. So, it is necessary for them to work and earn it. As we know, with
increase
Suggestion
increases
the increase
an increase
 in price of
medicine it
Accept comma addition
medicine, it
 is really
become
Suggestion
becoming
 very
unaffordable
that you have the financial means for
affordable
 for people to get better
health
 because they think before spending
money
 on various
health
 related check up which are important but due to high price of these
health
 check up
some times
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
 they have ignored. In conclusion, I believe it is good source of
money
 is necessary part of our
life
 to access various facilities for better
life
 style , increasing demand of day to day needs, to provide better education to children and provide better
health
 to family all these aspects make happy
life
 and if they have these resource they will live their
life
 happily.
Submitted by ALISHA CHAUDHARY on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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