IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#wealth #guaranty #happiness
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In today’s
life
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, people are busy at work or their own business to make
money
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 so that they can live
happy
Suggestion
a happy life
happy lives
life
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. To make their
life
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 or family
life
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 with joy, they are working hard by leaps and bound. Some people think that
instead
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 of focus on
money
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 we should live our
life
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 with joy and
to
Suggestion
with
such
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 people
money
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 is not worth as happiness to their family. And some people contradict
this
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 statement they think
money
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 matters at the end. From my
view point
a mental position from which things are viewed
viewpoint
, I fully agree, if we
money
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 we can fulfil our needs and wants or can provide better facilities
to
Suggestion
for
 our family. There are several reasons for
this
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.
First
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 one is our family satisfaction and better
life
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. To provide these two main comforts, everyone is working to earn some
money
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.
Secondly
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, education which is very significant for everyone. If we have
good source
Suggestion
a good source
 of
income than
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income, then
income then
 we can provide better education resources to our
children which
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children, which
 is a need of
present time
Suggestion
the present time
. Because they
also
Linking Words
 need various resources to fulfil their dreams or to get knowledge. Better
health
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 and better lifestyle are
also
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 a part of why people are working hard. So, it is necessary for them to work and earn it. As we know, with
increase
Suggestion
increases
the increase
an increase
 in price of
medicine it
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medicine, it
 is really
become
Suggestion
becoming
 very
unaffordable
that you have the financial means for
affordable
 for people to get better
health
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 because they think before spending
money
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 on various
health
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 related check up which are important but due to high price of these
health
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 check up
some times
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
 they have ignored. In conclusion, I believe it is good source of
money
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 is necessary part of our
life
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 to access various facilities for better
life
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 style , increasing demand of day to day needs, to provide better education to children and provide better
health
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 to family all these aspects make happy
life
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 and if they have these resource they will live their
life
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 happily.
Submitted by ALISHA CHAUDHARY on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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