Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to the elderly, while others think that people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

#people #government #offer #support #care #money #future #life

Nowadays taking care of elders has become a

discussional

an extended communication (often interactive) dealing with some particular topic

discussion

topic among the whole society. Some people believe that

government

should be responsible for looking after senior citizens and providing them monetary supports, while others think that individual save money for the future. My view is that these two ideas do not contradict with each other. The

government

should pay

attention to

Accept comma addition

attention, to

take care of elders because senior citizens have contributed enough to the society when they were young. The

government

should spare no effort to improve the living

condition

Suggestion

conditions

after elders retire. To be more specific, the

government

could establish

free nursing home

Suggestion

a free nursing home

, by doing so, professional staff and equipped facilities could deal with

physical condition

Suggestion

the physical condition

of the grey generation.

Furthermore

, if the elderly stay with peers, it may reduce the possibility of being

loneliness

Suggestion

lonely

Conversely

, individuals should be responsible for saving sufficient money for their future life.

This

is mainly because the

government

has limited budget for other purposes. It is unrealistic for the elderly to totally rely on the

government

's pension which can only cover basic living expense, and

then

live in an enjoyable life. If senior citizens wish to have a decent twilight years, they must prepare a plan at

early stage

Suggestion

an early stage

Moreover

family

Suggestion

families

the family

should

also

be obligated to take care of the elderly. The elderly should be encouraged to live with family, by doing so, it can enhance family intimacy.

As a result

, they can get rid of loneliness

by spending great

Suggestion

by spending a great

time with their offspring. In conclusion, the

government

should definitely provide financial aid to senior citizens. Meanwhile, individuals should

also

save up for their retirement. But more importantly, looking after the old is the responsibility of every member of our society.

Submitted by Mai Bùi on Mon Jul 13 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to the elderly, while others think that people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

6.What skills will you need to develop to prepare for this career?

For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that they should spend money to enjoy life at present. Others however, think they should save it for the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?