IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
some
Suggestion
Some
 people think it is more important to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on roads and motorways than on public
transport
Use synonyms
 systems.
to
Suggestion
To
 what extent do you agree? In the fast-paced society, the issue of investing
money
Use synonyms
 in the transportation system is a topic of controversy.
some
Suggestion
Some
 argue that the government should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on roads and motorways rather than on the public
transport
Use synonyms
 systems.
personally
Suggestion
Personally
, both
road
Use synonyms
 and public tránsport systems play an important role in modern society and
thus
Linking Words
 should be equally invested in.
on
Suggestion
On
 the one hand,
money
Use synonyms
 is invested in
road
Use synonyms
 systems which will bring a lot of benefits for people.
Linking Words
firstly
Suggestion
Firstly
, better
road
Use synonyms
 quality increases the level of safety and reduces traffic accidents.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example, Vietnam’s
ho
Suggestion
 chi Minh city is a big city with a considerable number of traffic accidents annually per year. Thanks to the allocation of state
money
Use synonyms
 on widening roads and constructing more motorways, the number of accidents is now on the decrease and people can travel much mỏre safety.
Linking Words
secondly
Suggestion
Secondly
, when the
road
Use synonyms
 systems are expanded, it will decrease significantly traffic congestion rate at rush hours.
it
Suggestion
It
 means that there will be more space for a large number of vehicles,
hence
Linking Words
 dropping the pressure on the city’s main roads.
Linking Words
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand, despite the benefits I mentioned above, I believe that public funds should
also
Linking Words
 be invested in building public
transport
Use synonyms
 systems because of the following advantages.
Linking Words
to
Suggestion
To
 begin with, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on public
transport
Use synonyms
 will reduce air pollution.
Linking Words
this
Suggestion
This
 is because nowadays some modes of public
transport
Use synonyms
 like subways produce fewer pollutants than private car or motorbike..
Linking Words
furthermore
in addition
Furthermore
, for those who do not have a private vehicle, public
transport
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as buses and subways are a great choice if they have to travel to work on a daily basis,
in
Suggestion
In
 conclusion, I believe that
money
Use synonyms
 should be well spent on not only roads but
also
Linking Words
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 systems in order to users achieve the best effect.
Submitted by Bích Đào on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Infrastructure
  • Transportation
  • Congestion
  • Economy
  • Carbon emissions
  • Pollution
  • Social inclusion
  • Urban development
  • Efficient
  • Investment
  • Reliance
  • Boosting
  • Affordable
  • Private vehicle users
  • Public transport system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: