IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many countries, primarily the developed ones, provide free
health
Use synonyms
 services to its public. Due to the limited resources, it is pervasive that these services are fundamental and do not include any expensive and latest technological medical services. It is ultimately agreed that not all medical services can be provided in these services, especially the complicated and pricy
health
Use synonyms
 care services.
This
Linking Words
 will be proven by analysing how difficult it is for the governments to support the essential free
health
Use synonyms
 services and how expensive medical treatments are not required frequently by the masses. On the one hand, every government has a limited budget for the free
health
Use synonyms
 services provided in the
country
Use synonyms
. As an example, annually, Canada spends about 11.6% of its GDP on
health
Use synonyms
 spending. Free
health
Use synonyms
 service is a high burden for any
country
Use synonyms
, and many countries spend as little as 1.18% of its GBP on free
health
Use synonyms
 services,
thus
Linking Words
 not all countries can provide the high quality of medical services to its citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many medical technologies are not frequently used in hospitals.
This
Linking Words
 is very apparent when new technologies are imported in the hospitals as doctors have been treating patients prior to the import of these technologies and may continue to use the same treatment methods for a long time. In most cases, new technology equipment would not be frequently used by the doctors as they rely more on their old methods. After analysing
this
Linking Words
, it is clear that newly imported technologies would not be efficiently used in hospitals. Following the analysation of a government's ability to fund the free
health
Use synonyms
 care services and how efficient the newly developed technologies can be used, it is clear that not every
country
Use synonyms
 can provide new technological services with free
health
Use synonyms
 service as these services might not be used by many of the citizens;
Linking Words
however
Suggestion
However
, it will put a
further
Linking Words
 financial burden on the
country
Use synonyms
's budget.
Submitted by MK on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: