Some people believe that reading stories from e book better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #e #book #tv #computer #games #children

It's argued that reading fictions through technological devices is more beneficial for children in

compared

Suggestion

comparison

with

Suggestion

watching the entertainment box or playing video games.

Although

I concur with the above mentioned idea, I think playing video games or watching

Suggestion

can be useful to some extent. On the one hand, children reading e-book stories can experience many positive results. Arousing a passion towards

literature

is an instance. If children constantly read e-book fictions, they will acquaint with basics of

literature

and may feel a tendency toward writing. As many prominent writers have been become fond of writing in

this

way.

For example

Hushang Moradi, a great Iranian writer states:"I

felt

cause to fall by or as if by delivering a blow

fell

in love with

literature

when I was 10 by reading story books".

Moreover

, reading e-book stories can contribute to improve children's imagination. Since story books include plenty of fictional characters and locations, they may cause children to foster their mind power.

For

instance it's

Accept comma addition

instance, it's

apparent reading a story written in sci-fi genre would stimulate

children's mind

Suggestion

a child's mind

child's mind

the child's mind

a lot.

On the other hand

, playing

computer

games or watching television can be advantageous too. Children can keep abreast of the newest technology by playing with

computer

Suggestion

computers

the computer

. Since playing

computer

games requires basic skills of technology, children would become familiar

Suggestion

with

computer

skills.

Likewise watching

Accept comma addition

Likewise, watching

Suggestion

can be useful for children if it is under parent's supervision. If children watch beneficial

programs not

addictively

Suggestion

objective

objectively

, they could accumulate a large amount of knowledge. To conclude,

although

reading stories on

computer

Suggestion

the computer

a computer

has more significant benefits for children

such

as making them interested in

literature

and promoting their

imagination

Suggestion

imaginative

power, playing

computer

games can help them to become

skillful

on technological gadgets and watching

would help them to boost their level of knowledge.

Submitted by Azin on Tue Jul 14 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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