IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Gender equality has not been achieved in our society. Women still do not have the same rights and opportunities as men. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#gender #equality #society #women #rights #opportunities #men
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While great steps have been taken to achieve equality between women and men in our
society
Use synonyms
, there remains a great deal of work to be done. Women still suffer from
discrimination
Use synonyms
 in the workplace and in
society
Use synonyms
 at large. In terms of the law, women are now equal with men. They can vote in elections and stand for political office. In the early twentieth century,
this
Linking Words
 was not the case and women had to fight for the right to cast their vote in elections.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, women have the same rights to own property as men.
This
Linking Words
 was
also
Linking Words
 not the case in the past.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, women suffer from indirect
discrimination
Use synonyms
 in many other ways. Statistically, women are still paid less on average than men.
Although
Linking Words
 laws have been put in place to ensure equality of pay for the same job, men continue to dominate management positions while women are assigned administrative and support roles. Their average salary is lower
as a result
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the burden of childcare falls more heavily on the mother than the father. Many companies are reluctant to employ women in their late twenties and early thirties for fear of the women becoming pregnant and placing the burden of paying maternity care on the shoulders of the company.
This
Linking Words
 is something
that is
Linking Words
 quantifiable and very difficult to expose. Women have the same right to a career and to progress in that career as their male counterparts, but they are being denied
this
Linking Words
 opportunity due to hidden
discrimination
Use synonyms
 at all levels in our
society
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the law has changed to uphold women’s rights, our
society
Use synonyms
 will remain unequal until these hidden forms of
discrimination
Use synonyms
 disappear, something that would require a sea change in attitudes on behalf of the general public.
Submitted by chauhan chintan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wage gap
  • gender parity
  • glass ceiling
  • gender discrimination
  • equal opportunities
  • patriarchal society
  • empowerment
  • stereotypes
  • work-life balance
  • inclusive policies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: