At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

There is no shadow of doubt that in

this

modern epoch, the count of young people is burgeoning day by day in many parts of the world. People are in great dilemma whether

this

approach is beneficial for society or not. But in my perception, it has multifarious positive outcomes. Why youngsters contribute more as compare to old people?

firstly

Suggestion

Firstly

, young people have more energy and strength to do any work. With the help of profound enthusiasm and crave, they can get a lot of profits by doing rigorous works. Apart from

this

, young people are less likely to become the victims of many chronic and catastrophic diseases because they have a strong body. Their body has the power to combat with the minor ailments easily. All these Nations lead to prosperous nations.

consequently

Suggestion

Consequently

, all countries should have the highest number of young people.

moving

Suggestion

Moving

further

young

Suggestion

younger

generations have the innovative and creative ideas which internally pave the way to inventions and researches.

In addition

to it, a nation who

has the

Accept comma addition

has, the

more youngsters than elder people will lead to have the highest literacy rate. United State of America, to cite as an example, had more young people as compared to Grey

society according

Accept comma addition

society, according

to the census of 2010 and it is considered as one of the most prosperous and educated countries.

however

Suggestion

However

, if any nation has more young people than old people, sometimes, they indulge into bad companies which lead to anti-social behaviour in societies. They may stray from their actual paths owing to lack of experience and restrictions which are generally put by elderly people.

As a result

, older people help to shield the young generation from many disparities,

such

as drug addiction, juvenile delinquency and many more like that.

Suggestion

conclusion,

although

the presence of both young as well as

old

Suggestion

older

people are inevitable, young generation is

symbol

Suggestion

a symbol

the symbol

of longevity and prosperity.

but

Suggestion

But

people cannot underestimate the importance of

old

Suggestion

older

people.

Submitted by Navdeep on Tue Jul 14 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

324 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people think that it would be beneficial to establish a single, global currency to make international trade and travel much easier. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Would a single currency cause any problems?

Some people think that in order to be successful in business one has to study at university, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?