In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or complex to do shoppong

#years #shops #customers #travel #centre #shoppong

Giving preference to shopping complex over street

market

can be seen

Accept space

as it

happen

Suggestion

happens

commonly, nowadays. Choice of branded product lead to

collapse

Suggestion

the collapse

local

Suggestion

the local market

market

, and

this

trend has totally negative impact on

domestic economy

Suggestion

the domestic economy

and

employment rate

Suggestion

the employment rate

. The prevalence of skyscrapers malls

have

Suggestion

has

devasting

making light of

devastating

repercussions for young generation.

For instance

, every nation is confronting the problem of unemployment and in that case, if family business or new shops will be shut

down

Accept comma addition

down, then

then

this

would cut off the large proportion of

sourse

the place where something begins, where it springs into being

source

sources

of income.

Subsequently

, unemployed people who are unable to find place in

job

Suggestion

the job market

market

could indulge in drug abuse

Accept space

bank robberies, and other distinct crimes to survive.

Moreover

, abject poverty might spoil the future of their children because of their inability to pay for education.Economically, it is a wrong option of grocery

Accept space

garments, and other usable things from the shopping mall.

Furthermore

, other highlighted areas that are being affected by

this

phenomena are cultural loss and disappearance of locally

manofactured

produced in a large-scale industrial operation

manufactured

material.

Ethinic

attire

are

Suggestion

no longer available in the

market

because no one is willing to purchase them.

Thus

, ethnicity is losing his charm and western wears have been flourishing for years.

Additionally

, unavailability of

large range

Suggestion

a large range

of local material need to be mentioned here, which include crochet, wooden coat, iron utensils, and mud pots. Almost all extinct things had countless health benefits whom

no body

a person of no influence

nobody

can enjoy now. In conclusion, shutting down of individual shops in

local

Suggestion

the local market

market

are imposing obstacles like job insecurity and raised criminal activities. Lost domestic good cannot be avoided.

Submitted by amrit on Tue Jul 14 2020

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or complex to do shoppong

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the dissappearance of national identity. Discuss both Views and state your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In the past, people used to travel abroad, so look for a minute differences from their home country. Nowadays cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons do the advantages of the disadvantages?

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists in today's world. Do you agree or disagree?

Parents are encouraging their children to spend an increasing amount of time on tablets and screens because they think it will improve their technological skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?