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Writing Samples
Band 5

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Revolution in Nuclear
Technology
Use synonyms
 has brought several benefits. Possession of Nuclear Weapons
have created
Suggestion
has created
 fear between
countries leaving
Accept comma addition
countries, leaving
 conflicts unresolved,
moreover
Linking Words
 nuclear power is turned out to serve
energy need
Suggestion
the energy need
an energy need
energy needs
 economically and in
environmental friendly way
Suggestion
an environmentally friendly way
environmentally friendly way
.
However
Linking Words
, drawbacks
f
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 can not be overseen which are hazardous disasters if it is misused. In my opinion, even though nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 has brought plenty of
advantages but
Accept comma addition
advantages, but
 cons of its usage holds more
weightage
Suggestion
. On the one hand,
invention
Suggestion
the invention
 of nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 has blessed mankind by providing affordable energy.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it helps to meet their power demand and foster the development of economy.
Additionally
Linking Words
, development of nuclear weapons has created threat between
first
Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
 countries from each other and forcing them to resolve their conflicts by debate.
As a result
Linking Words
, there is little of no worry about arising situations like
Use synonyms
world war
Suggestion
a world war
world wars
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is palpable that nuclear energy has
capability
Suggestion
the capability
 to flourish economy and make a
world
Use synonyms
 a better place to live. On the
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 hand, It is not wise to gloss over the perilous effects of nuclear disasters. Nowadays, terrorism is increasing at
alarming rate
Suggestion
an alarming rate
alarming rates
 and use of nuclear weapons by
such
Linking Words
 anti
humanitarian
Suggestion
human
 activity could be fatal.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 disasters could even occur in the process of generating nuclear power and testing nuclear weapons and
effect
the conscious subjective aspect of feeling or emotion
affect
 society severally leading to deformities in many generations.
For example
Linking Words
,
historical attack
Suggestion
a historical attack
the historical attack
 on Japan in
World
Use synonyms
 war II by nuclear missile had its effects for several decades.
Therefore
Linking Words
, nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 has several negative repercussions on society.
Finally
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 development of nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 has brought several benefits
for
Suggestion
to
mankind but
Accept comma addition
mankind, but
 it
can not
can not
cannot
 be accepted unless it becomes completely safe for mankind. It cannot be accepted as
beneficial
Suggestion
a beneficial technology
technology
Use synonyms
 until there are some activists around the
world
Use synonyms
 who gravitate towards its use to create terror in the
world
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe from points above that
disadvantages
Suggestion
disadvantage
 arising from misuse of nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 as well as
horrendous tragedy
Suggestion
a horrendous tragedy
 from nuclear disaster can overshadow all possible benefits.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Mutually assured destruction
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Cost-effective
  • Radiation therapy
  • Proliferation
  • Rogue states
  • Radioactive waste disposal
  • Catastrophic accidents
  • Climate change
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