Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern school. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#discipline #school #people #responsibility #teachers #role #parents

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the increasing number of youngsters who suffer from obesity over the

last

decades.

(

Accept space

(

youngsters

Suggestion

Youngsters

suffering from obesity). It is undeniable that fast

food

(processed

food

) consumption and

sedentary lifestyle

Suggestion

sedentary lifestyles

a sedentary lifestyle

have become an essential part of our life. In

this

essay I will look at obstacles to become healthy, examine factors responsible for spreading of obese people. One of the main causes of overweight children is parents who allow their kids to consume unhealthy

food

on a regular basis. It is a result of a shortage of parents’ time to prepare meals and habituate their offsprings. The

second

cause that might be noted, in my view, is advertisement that encourages children to pay for harmful enjoyment and become addicted to it. The explanation lies in the fact that

currently

Suggestion

current

advertisements are everywhere, including movies, series and social media. The

first

cause

an occurrence of something

case

mentioned above has led to increase in the quantity of people who struggle with

this

problem. That all provoked by obtaining money from parents and paying for convenience

food

and contributed to even more spread of fast

food

restaurants. Another problem that follows is that advertising of eating disorders stimulates children to eat more. One of the consequences of

this

waste

Suggestion

a waste

of money on things that slowly decreases longevity. Having weighed everything mentioned up, we can come to a conclusion that guardians should pay more attention to children’s nutrition. So it would not be surprising to see some reduction of fit people in the near future.

In other words

aggregate spread

Suggestion

the aggregate spread

imposed

Suggestion

imposing

advertisement might happen and we should be ready to bear all the repercussions of that.

Submitted by Lil'Jupiter Di on Wed Jul 15 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern school. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this and how can the problem be managed?

some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting .discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?