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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some areas in the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night, unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
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In some Us
area it
Accept comma addition
area, it
 is illegal for teenagers to stay outside during
night
Suggestion
the night
 if they are not accompanied by and adult. Teenagers'
age
Use synonyms
 normally is ranged between 11 to 18 or 19 or even 24 years old in different categories. I believe that for
some
one or some or every or all without specification
any
 particular
age
Use synonyms
 in teenager's category,
this
Linking Words
 law can be logic but it shouldn't include all of the teenagers. In my opinion very young teenagers who are
below
Suggestion
under
 16 years old may have not been enough matured to decide what is good and what is bad. They need to be accompanied by some adult for their own safety as well as others.
For
Linking Words
example when
Accept comma addition
example, when
 they are offered by their friends to smoke
cigarette
Suggestion
cigarettes
a cigarette
, they can really decide to accept or reject which can harm them if they accept it.
Linking Words
also if
Accept comma addition
Also, if
Also if
 their friends ask them to commit some crime which sometimes even can be dangerous for
public
Suggestion
the public
,
Accept space
,
they are not enough wised to accept or reject as even they may not know what they are going to do is considered as a crime.
Although
Linking Words
 scientists believe that
human brain
Suggestion
the human brain
 can grow and developed up to
age
Use synonyms
 24 years old, They
also
Linking Words
 believe that in most of the cases, the human brain is already
enough grown to
Suggestion
grown enough to
 help them make decision and differentiate between good and
bad in
frivolous banter
badinage
age
Use synonyms
 of 16.
in
Suggestion
In
 the other
word, even they
Suggestion
word, even as they
 are still considered as
teenagers but
Accept comma addition
teenagers, but
 they should have the rights to have their own life and plan every
aspects
Suggestion
aspect
 of it by themselves. Just mentioning the teenagers can make it complicated and the
law makers
a maker of laws; someone who gives a code of laws
lawmakers
 should set the
age
Use synonyms
 limits
instead
Linking Words
 of just mentioning the teenagers.
Submitted by Mojtaba Porhemmat on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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