Each society has its homeless people. Some people believe that the best way to help them is to give them money. Do you agree or disagree?

#society #people #money

Today’s world, there are lots of people who do not have their own home. Some people believe that providing these people with

money

is the best

way

to help them.

For

Suggestion

my opinion, I do not agree with

this

totally.

First

of all, not all the homeless people are real. Some of them even consider that receiving

money

from others is their daily job.

Nowadays many

Accept comma addition

Nowadays, many

people pretend to be homeless. Even some people wear like homeless to beg

money

. Because maybe they are too lazy to work and earn their own

money

so they think

this

is the easiest

way

to earn

money

Furthermore

, some of these people can even take a lot of

money

each

day which

Accept comma addition

day, which

is more than normal people take.

That is

the other reason for those people who finding unnecessary to get jobs.

On the other hand

, giving homeless people

money

is just a temporary solution. Because these people can waste all

this

money

for buying or doing foolish things. There are some situations that homeless people spend their

money

that people gave them on smoking, alcohol

intead

in place of, or as an alternative to

instead

of using

this

money

for buying food or clothes. İn my opinion, people who want to help homeless people can buy them some food, clothes, shoes or anything else that are necessary in daily life. And even they can help and encourage that homeless

people

Suggestion

person

to get their own jobs. İn conclusion, there are some people who believe in donating

money

is the best

way

to help them.

On the other

hand there

Accept comma addition

hand, there

are some who do not think

this

, as the best

way

. So there are still a lot of arguments in giving homeless people

money

. But I, personally believe that

this

is completely not the best

way

to help the homeless.

Submitted by Gunel on Thu Jul 16 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Each society has its homeless people. Some people believe that the best way to help them is to give them money. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

School diaryies, tell discrepenciesSchool diaryies, tell discrepenciesSchool diaryies, tell discrepencies

Some people say that school children should be given individual class work, while others think that working in small groups is better for them. Discuss both approaches and include your own

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

More and more children are becoming obese. What are the causes of this and What are the effects?

The media pays too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers and footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.