IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.

#years #crimes #people #cities #world
In recent years, the
ammount
a quantity of money
amount
 of crime
involve
Suggestion
involves
 to teenager in
metropolitan area
Suggestion
the metropolitan area
a metropolitan area
metropolitan areas
 is increasing globally. Throughout
this
 essay, I will explore implicated problems and suggest solving ways to those reasons. Lately, Internet websites in general and social media
in particular
 have
obiously
unmistakably ('plain' is often used informally for 'plainly')
obviously
 affected to
young community
Suggestion
the young community
. For many clear instances, there are numerous dangerous contents on
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
 or other social media that aided to adolescent
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
Therefore
, government has to prohibit some websites or contents that
alternatively
in an alternating sequence or position
alternately
 lead to bad
habbits
an established custom
habits
habit
 among young-age groups.
Furthermore
, lacking knowledge in birth-control can be the crucial factor that
push
Suggestion
pushes
 young parents to be robbers especially in low-income families. There are
pervelent
most frequent or common
prevalent
 evidences
sh
female pronoun; a female, or something regarded as female, e.g. a ship
she
shown
Suggestion
has shown
is shown
showed
 that young mother stole instant milk in
gorcery store
Suggestion
the grocery store
grocery store
a grocery store
 to feed her infants, or adolescent parents robbed bank because of out of money. By
this
 reason, the only way to solve
this
 problem is providing birth control education to immature groups for preventing giving birth in early age.
In addition
, government should suggest
career opportunity
Suggestion
a career opportunity
career opportunities
 to
this
 target group. Ultimately, young people are the basis
personel
group of people willing to obey orders
personnel
personal
 who can contribute in
developing country
Suggestion
developing countries
a developing country
the developing country
 in
sustainable way
Suggestion
a sustainable way
sustainable ways
. Thereby, both parents and government should focus on
this
 group
specificly
in distinction from others
specifically
.
Submitted by vinay chansomphou on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: