IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#traffic #cities #companies #factories #employees #countryside
It is often argued that some vital issues
such
 as
traffic
 and housing in large cities could be tackled by moving multinational companies and factories and even their staff to the country,
however
, I completely agree with the given assertion on the basis of some cogent reasons. It is indisputable that,
firstly
, moving corporations and factories have a noticeable effect on countries. In fact, even though
air
pollution
 and noise
pollution
 decline significantly, but it has an influential effect on either society or people. It contributes to the volume of
traffic
 decrease due to the fact it does not need to employ to fritter away their time and fuel to arrive at the work
as a result
 it enhances
air
pollution
.
Secondly
, it is beyond doubt that
air
pollution which
Accept comma addition
pollution, which
 results of
traffic
 and housing problems causes health issues. Admittedly, chronic disease
such
 as cardiovascular disease arises from environmental
pollution which
Accept comma addition
pollution, which
 has jeopardized the future lives of people. Notwithstanding these problems, moving to the countryside reduce facing these issues. The emergence of well-known and large firms,
finally
, disrupt living in the city and the rate of dying is highly likely to increase on the grounds that the effect of
air
pollution
 which results on the health of people especially senile people.
Nonetheless some
Accept comma addition
Nonetheless, some
 companies give rise to different issues, moving to the countryside would be a great idea. In conclusion, moving to the country is a contributing factor to decrease
air
pollution
,
traffic
 and health problems and I broadly agree that living in a city having companies and factories create severe problems
Submitted by Niusha Razavi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: