The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #ten #years #effects #trend

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Over the

last

Linking Words

decades,

western

a film about life in the western United States during the period of exploration and development

Western

societies have seen approximately a 20% rise in the number of children who are overweight.

This

Linking Words

is mainly due to their unhealthy eating patterns and

inactive lifestyle

Suggestion

an inactive lifestyle

inactive lifestyles

. There are some negative effects to children becoming overweight. The two main causes of obesity in children might be their both unhealthy diet and sedentary lifestyle. Over the recent

years most

Accept comma addition

years, most

parents cannot get some time to cook at home due to their busy schedule,

consequently

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eating outside has become an inseparable part of their life.

This

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leads to a trend and the number of fast food restaurants has been

Suggestion

increase. The food in these places has been proven to be unhealthy and contain too much fat products, salt and sugar.

Additionally

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, children nowadays tend to spend their leisure time watching TV and playing video games

instead

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of getting more physical activities.

Therefore

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, all these factors eventually lead to

gain weight among

Suggestion

weight gain among

children. The effects of

this

Linking Words

issue have been and will continue to be

severe health threat

Suggestion

a severe health threat

to children.

Firstly

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, obese children are at risk for a number of chronic health conditions. Diabetes,

for instance

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, is very commonly seen in children who are overweight. Their insulin is on the higher side, if it is not controlled, it may even lead to death.

Secondly

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, Childhood obesity doesn’t just affect physical health. Children who are overweight or obese can become depressed and have poor self-image and self-esteem. Children often tease or bully their overweight peers who suffer a loss of self-esteem and an increased risk of depression

as a result

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. Low self-esteem can create overwhelming feelings of hopelessness which can lead to depression in some children who are overweight. In conclusion, it is evident that there are several causes of obesity amongst children, two negative effects including severe physical and mental diseases.

Submitted by shadi on Sat Jul 18 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
obesity
caloric intake
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
physical education
nutritious
psychological well-being
self-esteem
socioeconomic
healthcare system
life expectancy
obesity-related complications

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many people use distance learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries,more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?