People under the age 18 who commit crimes should be re-educated rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Nowadays, Juvenile
crimes
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are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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ordinary things,
for
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example
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example,
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some
teenagers
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steal something from others, or they join
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gang
Fix the agreement mistake
gangs
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to help promote improper borrowing or gambling. I think that all of the
teenagers
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who commit
crimes
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not
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do not
did not
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have the advantage of
good
Correct article usage
a good
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education
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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them
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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misled. So, I agree that people under the age
18
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of 18
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who commit
crimes
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should be re-educated rather than punished.
In addition
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, a good
education
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can make those
teenagers
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understand whether it is right or wrong to do something, whether can do it or not. Some of the
teenagers
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will not obey even though be punished.
On the contrary
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, if we
punished
Add a missing verb
are punished
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more, it will become
worst
Correct word choice
worse
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.
Therefore
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, we can give him a chance to reform. The government must pay attention to
this
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issue
that
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so that
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they can be re-educated
at
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for
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first
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the first
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time
Furthermore
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, they might be affected
for
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by
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their bad friends or be forced to do these.
For example
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, the youth will prove their bravery after
the
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their
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bad friends encourage them to commit
crimes
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. When we face
about
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apply
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this
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case, there
only
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is only
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one way to give a chance for them to reform through
re-educated
Correct your spelling
re-education
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instead
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of
punished
Wrong verb form
punishing
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them directly. In conclusion, they were a piece of blank sheet paper when they were born. How of the person they will be are related to their growth environment and
education
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from their parents. Juvenile
crimes
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closely
Add a missing verb
are closely
show examples
related to society. People must pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
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education
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of punished. They should be punished if they have been taught repeatedly

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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and keep it strong throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear paragraphs to organize your ideas. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
Task Response
Add more specific examples to support your points, showing why education is better than punishment.
Task Response
You show a good understanding of the topic and express a clear opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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