Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk about to teenagers about the dangers of commiting crime. To extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime

It is true that ex-prisoners can become a good member of society. I completely agree with

this

view that allowing

such

people to talk to teenagers about their experiences as a prisoner is the best way to deter them from offences. On the one hand, teenagers are likely to accept advice from someone who can share their experiences. Re-offenders can tell to young people about how they became involved in

crime

, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, attitude of society once they are released and, how can young people prevent themselves to commit or involved in

crime

. There is

popular misconception

Suggestion

a popular misconception

among young people that lawbreakers have a glamorous life. These people can dispel

this

conception by sharing their regret and hard situations.

On the other hand

, there are some alternative ways that can be applied to prevent the younger generation from

crime

Although

I believe that they are not as effective as much the

experiences

Suggestion

experience

of ex-prisoners,

however

, should they are implemented, it might help.

Firstly

, police officers can visit schools and educate students about what happened when someone commits a

crime

Secondly

teachers maybe

Accept comma addition

teachers, maybe

help to inform and give them advice on the dangers.

Finally

, in media young people can be exposed to containing violence scene excessively in films or news. Should teenagers see less

such

scenes, it can be seen reducing

Suggestion

crime rate

Suggestion

the crime rate

. In conclusion, I completely agree with the view that people who become the good member of society after serving prison sentence could help to prevent

crime

among teenagers.

Submitted by tugba on Mon Jul 20 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk about to teenagers about the dangers of commiting crime. To extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some areas of the US, a “curfew” is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?