Many people believe that we should protect all wild animals while others believe we should just protect some of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals

Wild

animals

, which are on the verge of extinction, are preserved in zoos and

also

protected by applying strict laws.

Although

this

protection for rare species is supported by few people, there are others

along with

me who believe that not only endangered species but

also

all wild

animals

must be preserved.

This

essay will discuss both the standpoints and justify my viewpoint. The most compelling argument to endorse the opinion of those who do not support the idea

to preserve

Change preposition

of preserving

show examples

all wild

animals

due

Change preposition

that

show examples

requires a large amount of money.

Although

it is difficult

that

Change preposition

show examples

maintaining

Wrong verb form

maintain

show examples

animals

in zoos in order to save them from extinction is expensive.

For instance

, Melbourne

zoo

Capitalize word

Zoo

show examples

, one of the famous zoos in Australia, spends a lot of money to feed all the

animals

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they are protecting. Consider if they have to preserve all the wild

animals

this

budget would increase to the point where it could affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human needs.

Therefore

, these funds should be allocated for humanitarian issues, as many

third world

Add a hyphen

third-world

show examples

countries are still struggling against starvation and deadly diseases.

However

, others think that all wild

animals

must be protected. The main reason behind

this

view is that all of the wild

animals

play an important role in the ecosystem. Should there be one of these species extinct,

then

the ecosystem would be unbalanced and it might have a serious effect on the environment.

Moreover

, the existence of these wild

animals

is beneficial for human beings.

For instance

, scientists have found that some wild

animals

could be used as a medical treatment,

such

as the blood of a snake which can be used to heal skin diseases.

Furthermore

, all wild

animals

are important and should be equally protected. In conclusion, we should save every wild animal

that is

still present in the world. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

every animal in one way or another is important to maintain balance in

ecosystem

Add an article

the ecosystem

show examples

, all should be protected.

Submitted by Waqar Allahi on Tue Jul 21 2020

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task response

Ensure that every point made in the essay is directly relevant to the topic and task requirements.

coherence and cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, using linking words and transitions to improve coherence and cohesion.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
conservation status
ecological significance
holistic approach
endangered species
natural heritage
unforeseen negative impacts
economically non-viable
prioritization
ecosystem balance
conservation efforts

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Many people believe that we should protect all wild animals while others believe we should just protect some of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A company has announced that it is wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your country. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days older people who have retired often choose to spend money on them. For example on holiday, rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.