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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
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The
age
Use synonyms
 of retirement, nowadays, is a challenging issue among people, due to the increase in life expectancy. It is argued that while the average of living
age
Use synonyms
 is being
increasing
Suggestion
increased
; as a consequence, the
age
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 of retirement has to rise.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
although
Linking Words
 the
age
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 of living seems to be increasing,
this
Linking Words
 is important to consider old
people
Suggestion
person's
 performance. As individual
age
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 increases, the physical function decreases generally.
However
Linking Words
, it does not mean elderly people are unable to handle works, but full-time jobs may not be sufficient for them.
Besides
Linking Words
, it is true that they are well-experience in their jobs;
however
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the atmosphere of jobs, especially these days, could be annoying for them. Competitive environment of works with growing technologies involved in them are more convenient for youngest
in contrast
Linking Words
 to oldest in
age
Use synonyms
 of retiring.
Additionally
Linking Words
, older people have to be replaced with younger ones. When older people are
retired
Suggestion
retiring
 later,
youngest
Suggestion
young
younger
 people are employed later. To keep workplaces and societies balanced, the
age
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 of retirement is better to be the same and do not alter to allow younger people to be employed and could make their future and families. All in all, I think retiring people later due to the growth in living
age
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 is not the best decision, either for elderly people themselves or for other member of society. To be fair, younger people have to work as employees while if the elderly people stay at works longer, the opportunities for
youngest
Suggestion
young
 would not occur.
Submitted by aku.orang21 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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