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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #children #subjects #future #career #music #sports
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Nowadays, people believe that schools should only teach the subjects which are beneficial to the student for their ultimate career. They,
also
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 believe that less liked the topics like music and sports should be excluded.
However
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,
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this
plural of "this"
these
 things plays an important role in everybody's life. I believe, every subject is important. Every subject teaches a child to understand a different aspect of growth in its own way.
For instance
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, extracurricular activity like sports helps an individual to understand the importance of health and staying fit.
Moreover
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, activities like art and music brings calmness and sincerity, which is very important alongside the passion for your goals.
This
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 thing makes the path of your success easier. I believe, that they help a human in building their nature and
moreover
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, brings discipline.
For example
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, if a guy is suffering from a "depression"
then
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this
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 could turn out to be a very helpful way to come out of it. In an another, a way of looking, only the parts which are necessary for forthcoming should be included in the course. Because, the unnecessary things put in a mental stress on a child's mind as they have to score well in order to get a good grade,
nevertheless
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, their final result will be affected by the subjects which are not even important to them.
Although
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, the value they have learnt is good for them, but that would not help them in getting good grades, means it will affect your imminent if you are weak at something which is not related to your career. So to be conclusive, it might affect their long term studies to some extend. To conclude, the activity brings moral values in them and
also
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 shape them in a better person, but it might out-turn their future remotely, if one is weak at it
although
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, it is not important.
Submitted by Karina Patel on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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