Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge-edge or experience.

#athletes #role #models #people #support #knowledge-edge

Youths can take sports person as an inspiration. In my opinion, I strongly believe that sports players can be considered to be a determined influence not only for teenagers but

also

for adults.

Firstly

, influences of athletes teach good habits. One of the important routines that can be learnt from people who involve in games is rising early. Waking up on a regular and consistent hour is a common problem that most of the current generation adolescents face and it can be changed if it is being suggested to them by someone whom they follow.

, it educates people on punctuality and preaches the significance of time in one's career. A real life example that happened in the 2016 Olympics was a renowned weightlifter was disqualified for being late by 2 minutes that had a worse impact in her profession. She emphasised the importance of time to the audience after facing her failure in that match. Examples like

this

, will set young minds to know the value of timekeeping.

In other words

, if a human being with great skills and behaviours doesn't keep up time, the consequences can be adverse.

Secondly

, having a role model will provide the prominence of determination. A well-focused mind is vital to win matches, without which never a play can be won.

This

teaches that in order to succeed in our lives, we need to be determined and work towards our goal. Success or failure is a

second

matter, but whether you plan for your goal is eminent.

Additionally

this

also

regulates the well being of the person as one will be aware of his/her objective. Mary Kom, a popular box who has won many matches has said that she has won tournaments because of her determination. She comes from an underprivileged family and has kids to look after, but her will to achieve her goal was never hindered by any factors. In conclusion, it is essential for kids who are growing to have influence in their lives as it will take them to great heights by providing good habit and concentration if they trail in the paths of their models.

Submitted by RUTHRA VADIVEL MURUGESAN on Thu Jul 23 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

356 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge-edge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays people buy a lot of unnecessary manufactured products. What is the effect of this on individuals and society? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today,many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be dont about this?

In some countries, people prefer to rent their home rather than buy one. What are some advantages and disadvantages renting a house?

As child obesity becomes a serious health issue in today’s society, some people feel that TV commercials advertising junk food aimed at kids should not be shown before 9pm. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?