Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems human beings. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#species #world #people #countries #individuals #animals #beings

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Nowadays a large number of

animals

Use synonyms

are struggling with extinction danger. It is considered by some that people and governments should take the responsibility of saving them,

while

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others argue that the focus of the universe should be on mankind. In my opinion, the combination of both ideas serves us with a better answer. On the one hand,

due to

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global warming and excessive hunting which are fully associated with

humans

Use synonyms

this

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world is not safe for the diversity of

animals

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anymore.

Consequently

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, rulers of countries and

also

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individuals should take some measures in order to safeguard these creatures.

Furthermore

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, these creatures, not only are vitally important to maintain the ecosystem, but

also

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they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

guarantee the existence of

humans

Use synonyms

for

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

generation.

For example

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, honeybees enable flowers and

floral

Replace the word

flowers

show examples

to thrive and breed

beside

Change preposition

besides

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

, they

produced

Wrong verb form

produce

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nutrition-rich honey, which is a kind of medicine for

humans

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On the other hand

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, not everything can be summed up around

animals

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Humans

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are

also

Linking Words

struggling with a noticeable amount of troubles that demand to be taken into account. If we invest the majority of our resources in taking care of species without regard

Change preposition

for

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

ourselves, we are not going to

last

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long enough.

As a result

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, human beings should

also

Linking Words

be responsible for their surroundings to live a better life.

for instance

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, imagine a day

that

Correct word choice

when

show examples

all money

spent

Add a missing verb

is spent

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

and nothing

remained

Wrong verb form

remains

show examples

for

humans

Use synonyms

to live which

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in the extension of not only

humans

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but

also

Linking Words

the earth.

Finally

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, I believe that if we are able to put both measures

Change preposition

show examples

the same path,

in other words

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, the ability to take care of ourselves and

animals

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at the same time, will aid us in the way of protecting our earth. In conclusion, it seems that the mixture of both ideas will provide a brighter outcome than implementing the ideas individually.

Submitted by iliz_sim on Thu Jul 23 2020

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task response

You should provide more specific examples and details to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and reinforce your position on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion by using transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
cascading effects
economic impacts
ecosystem
endangered species
environmental conservation
human welfare
moral duty
preserve
sustainable practices
habitats
interconnected
extinction
advocates
opponents
priority

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People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. do you agree or disagree?

Development is fast growing . more and more machines are replacing humans ? Does the advantages overweigh the disadvantages ?? Discuss and give vital example