IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and example to support your position.

#people #money #support #position
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Many people believe that a large income equals
success
. I believe,
however
, that
success
 is more than how much you can make. Some of measures of
success
 include fame, respect and
knowlegde
the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning
knowledge
.
First
 of all, most people assume that famous people are rich, but
that is
 not always true. There are many famous singers, artists, writers, even movie directors who don't have a lot of
money
, but they are a
sucessful
having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome
successful
 person.
For instance
, Vencelt is one of the most successful painters in the world, but when he died in poorness. Certainly, no one would say he was not successful. A successful person can be somebody who is reputable in the society. In
adition
a component that is added to something to improve it
addition
, it is wrong to evaluate a person’s
success
 in terms of his
monetary
Suggestion
moneys
 worth.
Success
 depends on various factors involving respect. Without respect, those of
money
means
Suggestion
mean
little
Suggestion
less
. To illustrate
this
, Duong Nhue, who can earn a lot of
money
, becomes a master in his field.
In other words
,
Accept space
,
there is a dishonest profession, he is considered as a criminal man in our society.
Finally
, one of the most crucial indicators of
success
 is knowledge. If we can earn a lot of
money
 without knowledge and education, these
money
Suggestion
monies
moneys
isn't
Suggestion
aren't
 worth. A good lawyer, as an example, is often paid a very high salary because he or she has won many cases and people are ready to pay big
money
 for his knowledge. In short, there is no doubt that
money
 plays an essential role in human beings. Obviously, not everyone measures
success
 with
money
. I believe that
success
 depends on various other factors
such
 as reputation, admiration and awareness.
Submitted by bebe Huyền on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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