The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The pie charts compare the proportion of

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

show examples

in three fields in two towns in two different years 1960 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, in 1960 the

sales

Use synonyms

field was considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the most popular field for both towns.

Also

Linking Words

, after 50 years,

while

Linking Words

the

percentage

Use synonyms

of workers in

town

Use synonyms

A working in the manufacturing

sector

Use synonyms

was higher than the others, the majority in

town

Use synonyms

B choose

sales

Use synonyms

. In 1960, there were 29% of people working in manufacturing in

town

Use synonyms

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

stood at the lowest position, but in 2010 witnessed a dramatic increase in the

percentage

Use synonyms

of workers in manufacturing to 64%, placing it ahead of the figures for

sales

Use synonyms

and

services

Use synonyms

By contrast

Linking Words

, the service

sector

Use synonyms

made up the largest employment rate, at 41% followed by 30% in the figure for

services

Use synonyms

in 1960, but after that, both of those almost halved to 20% and 16%, respectively in 2010. In

town

Use synonyms

B, in the same pattern as

town

Use synonyms

A in 1960, the highest

percentage

Use synonyms

of workers recorded for the

sales

Use synonyms

field at 70%. At the same time, the

percentage

Use synonyms

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

show examples

services

Use synonyms

, at 20% was double that of manufacturing. In 2010, the

sales

Use synonyms

sector

Use synonyms

experiencend

Correct your spelling

experienced

experience

a significant decrease to 53% but was still

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

compared to a rise of 15% and 2% in the figures for the manufacturing and

services

Use synonyms

sector

Use synonyms

, respectively.

Uyên HoàngThu Jul 23 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, percentage, town, sector, services with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

dominant sector
proportion
employment sectors
distribution
shifts
trends
growth
decline
main sector
50-year period
comparison focus
analyze
summarize
changes
increase
decrease
evolution
observed
highlight
underlie

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays the security in the world is not enough good and some countries allow that people have guns if they have a special permission and this show what gun can they use. So, in this case is very easy to get guns. In other countries where is prohibited from carrying weapons the way to get gun is different. For this reason the shootings are increasing and it is dangerous for us.
5.5
band
Volunteer work is when people offer their time and effort to help others without being paid. Students often volunteer to gain valuable experience and give back to the community. High school and university students should be required to complete a certain number of volunteer hours before graduating. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it's quite popular to participate in volunteering activities because it gives you more understanding of what's going on around you. Such volunteering activities are done without any payment and out of free will. Besides that, today's schools are requiring a certain amount of hours of volunteering before graduating. In my opinion, this situation in educational institutions is quite questionable because the words "mandatory" and "voluntary" never stood together.
5.5
band
You are accepted as an oversea student by a university. You want some information before your go to the university: Write a letter to the student officer. In your letter •Ask him/her about the accommodation •Transport facility •The class schedule
My name is Rajwant Singh, and I have recently enrolled in advance business management course, starting next month. I am writing this letter in regard to get information about my arrangements before moving to Canada. Firstly, I would like a single room with air conditioner and laundry facilities. I would appreciate if you can arrange one at student hostel.
6.5
band
Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The global population has increased exponentially over the past two centuries and, as a result, our cities have expanded beyond recognition. While much of this modern growth has been happened on new ground, some has grown up organically around the many old buildings already standing. Some urban planners have suggested replacing some of these older buildings with more modern ones, while others believe we should preserve them.
5.5
band
Some people soy thol industrial growth is necessory to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is causing environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In this essay we are going to discuss about Industrial growth. Does Industrial growth a necessity to solve poverty? or does this causes environmental issues? Its a relevant topic which is ongoing in the current scenario.

The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010

in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are accepted as an oversea student by a university. You want some information before your go to the university: Write a letter to the student officer. In your letter •Ask him/her about the accommodation •Transport facility •The class schedule

Some people soy thol industrial growth is necessory to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is causing environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion