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Band 2.5

Since most information about culture and history can be found on the internet, museums are not needed anymore. To what extent do you agree?

#information #culture #history #internet #museums
We live in an age when many people have an internet and easily can find any information about history or culture without going to
museum
Suggestion
a museum
the museum
museums
.
However physically
Accept comma addition
However, physically
 people cannot enjoy
it’s
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 aesthetics from their phone or laptop.
This
 essay will disagree with
this
 statement. It is true that young population does not have any interest about their past time. Young population has to know their history, and national relic. To reach all information and histories about past time the museums and exhibitions are the best place. Due to it governments have to make opportunities for them to visit museums or historical exhibitions. The atmosphere of
museum halls
Suggestion
the museum halls
 gives more concentration and inspiration.
Also
 closing of museums will damage part of economy and part of
tourism
 in
country
Suggestion
the country
a country
. Because a lot of foreign people visit national museums and after closing it can affect to
tourism
 and economic growth will sharply decrease. As an
example we
Accept comma addition
example, we
 can pay attention to Egypt’s economy graph. In 2008 Egypt closed all
tourism
 activities and ways. It noticeably influenced to economy part of
tourism
.
As a
result they
Accept comma addition
result, they
 lost 45% of year profit. Taking everything into
account we
Accept comma addition
account, we
 can come to a thought that it is not the best decision to close the activity of museums.
Submitted by Daulet on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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