IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect
It is undeniable that playing
video
 games has been a popular activity among children and teenagers. It is partly thought to be beneficial to their brains. In my view, the negative sides of games will outweigh the positive ones for many reasons.
To begin
 with, children can benefit a lot from playing computer games. One of the main good sides of
this
 is that it can be entertaining. Children can enjoy fantasy worlds on the screen, which is more exciting and safer than on the outside.
For example
, when playing swords or shooting guns in the real world, there will be a high chance of injury, whereas it is not a problem with virtual worlds. It can boost their imagination and creativity.
Moreover
,
video
 games can be used as an educational tool; when playing strategy games, players must come up with many ways to overcome a stage, or defeat their opponents.
This
 allows them to use concentration, logical thinking and problem-solving skills, which can be useful in the real world.
On the other hand
, gaming can have a negative effect on players. One of the reasons is that many children are willing to play
video
 games for hours to finish new quests and keep up with their peers.
This
 can lead to some serious issues; good examples of
this
 would be back pain, caused by sitting in front of the screen for a very long
time
, and poor school results, as games distract children from studying.
Besides
, children spend so much
time
 playing computer games that there is no
time
 for them to do outdoor activities, resulting in the increase in the obesity rate. In conclusion, there has been a debate about if
video
 games are entertaining and educational or harmful. Personally, parents should allow children to play
video
 games in a limited
time
 to ensure developing problem-solving skills and not being addicted to it.
Submitted by Nguyễn Ngọc Huy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: