Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring advantages or disadvantages

#home #hands #machines

Many believe that considerable amount of work that used to be performed by

hands

Suggestion

the hands

are now being replaced by machines. In my

opinion

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opinion, this

this

increases dependency and has brought more negative impact than positive

To begin

with

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technological advancement

are accelerating

Suggestion

is accelerating

at greater speed than we have ever imagined

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As a result

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it has helped to improve businesses

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economy and educational sectors and has opened doors to many opportunities

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Furthermore

, health sectors

has

Suggestion

have also bloomed

also

bloomed. Not only

this it

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this, it

has made communication and travel so easy and has made the world

much smaller place

Suggestion

a much smaller place

to live in

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Although

the development of machines has

plethora

Suggestion

a plethora

of advantages

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however

feel that the disadvantages of the development outweigh its advantages

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Firstly

, our dependency on machines has increased significantly

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Everybody has become very lazy and victims of obesity.

For instance

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in the past every household work was performed manually because there was no vacuum cleaner

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dish washer

a machine for washing dishes

dishwasher

or washing machines

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Thus people

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Thus, people

were physically healthy

compaired

examine and note the similarities or differences of

compared

to the present generation

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Secondly

, because the machines have higher efficiency most jobs are performed by them in the offices.

As a result

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many job

oppurtunities

a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances

opportunities

are

confesticated

take temporary possession of as a security, by legal authority

confiscated

Furthermore

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when machine dominates

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only skilled population will be employed and the rest will have to face difficulties getting employment

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Thus

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this

degrades their living standard because they cannot generate income to support their family

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This

will result in the introduction of outrageous crimes disrupting the harmony of the society

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Thus

to conclude, increase dependency on machines not only unhealthy but

also

creates

diaharmony

a lack of harmony

disharmony

and disparity in the society

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Submitted by Suvani baral on Sat Jul 25 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

automation
domestic help
smart home technologies
energy-efficient
resource depletion
over-dependence
external services
maintenance
replacements
leisure activities
tedious tasks

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Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring advantages or disadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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