Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

#home #hands #machines

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To begin

Linking Words

with, technological advancement

are accelerating

Suggestion

is accelerating

at greater speed than we have ever imagined.

As a result

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, it has helped to improve businesses, economy and educational sectors and has opened doors to many opportunities.

Furthermore

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, health sectors

has

Suggestion

have also bloomed

also

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bloomed. Not only

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this it

Accept comma addition

this, it

has made communication and travel so easy and has made the world

much smaller place

Suggestion

a much smaller place

to live in.

Although

Linking Words

the development of machines has

plethora

Suggestion

a plethora

of advantages, I

however

Linking Words

feel that the disadvantages of the development outweigh its advantages.

Firstly

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, our dependency on machines has increased significantly. Everybody has become very lazy and victims of obesity.

For instance

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, in the past every household work was performed manually because there was no vacuum cleaner,

dish washer

a machine for washing dishes

dishwasher

or washing machines.

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Thus people

Accept comma addition

Thus, people

were physically healthy

compaired

examine and note the similarities or differences of

compared

to the present generation.

Secondly

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, because the machines have higher efficiency most jobs are performed by them in the offices.

As a result

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, many job

oppurtunities

a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances

opportunities

are

confesticated

take temporary possession of as a security, by legal authority

confiscated

Furthermore

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, when machine dominates, only skilled population will be employed and the rest will have to face difficulties getting employment.

Thus

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this

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degrades their living standard because they cannot generate income to support their family

Accept space

This

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will result in the introduction of outrageous crimes disrupting the harmony of the society.

Thus

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to conclude, increase dependency on machines not only unhealthy but

also

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creates disharmony and disparity in the society.

Submitted by Suvani baral on Sat Jul 25 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

automation
domestic help
smart home technologies
energy-efficient
resource depletion
over-dependence
external services
maintenance
replacements
leisure activities
tedious tasks

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Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Goverment should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are buying fashionable clothes these days. Does it have more negative or positive effects? Give reasons.

Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?

some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as science and technology.