Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

#home #hands #machines

To begin

with, technological advancement

are accelerating

Suggestion

is accelerating

at greater speed than we have ever imagined.

As a result

, it has helped to improve businesses, economy and educational sectors and has opened doors to many opportunities.

Furthermore

, health sectors

has

Suggestion

have also bloomed

also

bloomed. Not only

this it

Accept comma addition

this, it

has made communication and travel so easy and has made the world

much smaller place

Suggestion

a much smaller place

to live in.

Although

the development of machines has

plethora

Suggestion

a plethora

of advantages, I

however

feel that the disadvantages of the development outweigh its advantages.

Firstly

, our dependency on machines has increased significantly. Everybody has become very lazy and victims of obesity.

For instance

, in the past every household work was performed manually because there was no vacuum cleaner,

dish washer

a machine for washing dishes

dishwasher

or washing machines.

Thus people

Accept comma addition

Thus, people

were physically healthy

compaired

examine and note the similarities or differences of

compared

to the present generation.

Secondly

, because the machines have higher efficiency most jobs are performed by them in the offices.

As a result

, many job

oppurtunities

a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances

opportunities

are

confesticated

take temporary possession of as a security, by legal authority

confiscated

Furthermore

, when machine dominates, only skilled population will be employed and the rest will have to face difficulties getting employment.

Thus

this

degrades their living standard because they cannot generate income to support their family

Accept space

This

will result in the introduction of outrageous crimes disrupting the harmony of the society.

Thus

to conclude, increase dependency on machines not only unhealthy but

also

creates disharmony and disparity in the society.

Submitted by Suvani baral on Sat Jul 25 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

226 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

automation
domestic help
smart home technologies
energy-efficient
resource depletion
over-dependence
external services
maintenance
replacements
leisure activities
tedious tasks

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Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places and learn about their culture. We can learn as much as from books, film and television. To what extent do you agree or disagree