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Band 2.5

Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

#home #hands #machines
To begin
 with, technological advancement
are accelerating
Suggestion
is accelerating
 at greater speed than we have ever imagined.
As a result
, it has helped to improve businesses, economy and educational sectors and has opened doors to many opportunities.
Furthermore
, health sectors
has
Suggestion
have also bloomed
also
 bloomed. Not only
this it
Accept comma addition
this, it
 has made communication and travel so easy and has made the world
much smaller place
Suggestion
a much smaller place
 to live in.
Although
 the development of machines has
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
 of advantages, I
however
 feel that the disadvantages of the development outweigh its advantages.
Firstly
, our dependency on machines has increased significantly. Everybody has become very lazy and victims of obesity.
For instance
, in the past every household work was performed manually because there was no vacuum cleaner,
dish washer
a machine for washing dishes
dishwasher
 or washing machines.
Thus people
Accept comma addition
Thus, people
 were physically healthy
compaired
examine and note the similarities or differences of
compared
 to the present generation.
Secondly
, because the machines have higher efficiency most jobs are performed by them in the offices.
As a result
, many job
oppurtunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
 are
confesticated
take temporary possession of as a security, by legal authority
confiscated
.
Furthermore
, when machine dominates, only skilled population will be employed and the rest will have to face difficulties getting employment.
Thus
,
this
 degrades their living standard because they cannot generate income to support their family
.
Accept space
.
This
 will result in the introduction of outrageous crimes disrupting the harmony of the society.
Thus
 to conclude, increase dependency on machines not only unhealthy but
also
 creates disharmony and disparity in the society.
Submitted by Suvani baral on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • domestic help
  • smart home technologies
  • energy-efficient
  • resource depletion
  • over-dependence
  • external services
  • maintenance
  • replacements
  • leisure activities
  • tedious tasks
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