Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

#home #hands #machines

Many people believe that considerable amount of work that used to be performed by

hands

Suggestion

the hands

are now being replaced by machines.

However

, I think

this

increases dependency and has brought more negative impact than positive.

To begin

with, technological advancement

are increasing

Suggestion

is increasing

at greater speed than we have ever imagined.

As a result

, it has helped to improve businesses, economy and educational sectors and has opened doors to many opportunities.

Furthermore

, health sectors

has

Suggestion

have also bloomed

also

bloomed. Not only

this it

Accept comma addition

this, it

has made communication and travel so easy and has made the world

much smaller place

Suggestion

a much smaller place

to live in.

Although

the development of machines has many advantages, I

however

feel that the disadvantages of the development outweigh its advantages.

Firstly

, our dependency on machines has increased significantly. Everybody has become very lazy and victims of obesity.

For instance

, in the past every household work was performed manually because there was no vacuum cleaner, dishwasher or washing machines.

Thus

, people were physically

healthy

Suggestion

healthier

than the present generation.

Secondly

, because the machines have higher efficiency most jobs are performed by them in the offices.

As a result

, many job opportunities are decreasing.

Furthermore

, when machine dominates, only skilled population will be employed and the rest will have to face difficulties getting employment.

Thus

this

degrades their living standard because they cannot generate income to support their family

Accept space

This

will result in the introduction of outrageous crimes disrupting the harmony of the society.

For example

, in many developing countries like India,

crimes

Suggestion

crime

rates

has

Suggestion

have

increases

Suggestion

increased

significantly because of lack of employment.

Thus

to conclude, increase dependency on machines not only unhealthy but

also

creates disharmony and disparity in the society.

Submitted by Suvani baral on Sat Jul 25 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

automation
domestic help
smart home technologies
energy-efficient
resource depletion
over-dependence
external services
maintenance
replacements
leisure activities
tedious tasks

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Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

In some areas of the US, a "curfew" is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a partcular time at night unless they are accompained by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienece.

People have different jo exception for jobs. Some people prefer to do same job for same company, whereas other prefer to change jobs frequently. Write advantages and disadvantages of each view point.