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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more schools allow fast-food restaurants to sell their products to their students. Is it a positive or negative development?

#schools #fast-food #restaurants #products #students #development
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Many educational institutes are permitting
the
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junk food outlets, to trade their produce to the pupils.
This
 approach can lead to
the
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major health issues in the students, and can
also
 slow down the growth.
Therefore
,
this
 is undoubtedly an unfavourable progress.
This
 essay will discuss its impact in detail with a suitable example.
Firstly
, the processed food available in the canteens
,
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 contains a huge amount of fat and sugar, which causes obesity, diabetes, and even cancer.
In other words
, the
over consumption
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overconsumption
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 of
such
 products can have adverse effects on the health of the school-going children.
Moreover
, it will directly have
influence
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an influence
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 on their academic performance because there will be more chances of students getting sick.
For instance
,
according to
 a survey conducted by the University of Shimla, in 2016, in India, it was found that the students who consume a lot of unhealthy, ready-to-eat products show poor school results.
Secondly
, most of the fast- food places have packed foodstuff, which contain various preservatives, and are directly linked to a decline in
the
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mental and physical development.
This
 is to say that the daily consumption at
such
 restaurants will reduce the growth of children.
Furthermore
, they will have
an
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inactive
brain
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brains
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, which decreases
the
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effective learning in
the
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adolescents. To exemplify, the research carried out in 2018,
in
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at
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 the University of Nainital, India, says that the long-term consumption of preservatives causes a 40%
of
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reduction in the cognitive development of human beings.
Thus
, the selling of the processed foodstuffs in schools is extremely harmful.
To conclude
, the retailing of junk products
in
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on
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 school premises is a negative growth.
Moreover
, its daily utilisation reduces the progress
,
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 and enhances the risk of deadly diseases in pupils.
Submitted by Yudhishthir on

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task response
The response addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument against allowing fast-food outlets in schools. Make sure to provide a balanced view by also acknowledging potential counterarguments or benefits.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph is logically structured and that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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