the percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

Over the
last
ten years, Western societies have seen an almost 20% rise in the number of children who are overweight.
This
essay will discuss some reasons why
this
has occurred and examine the consequences. The main cause for the overweight is the diet they follow.
Although
they have a proper diet, most of the children are attracted to junk food.
This
is because of the taste of fast food.
Moreover
Accept comma addition
Moreover, this
this
type of food can be made within a short period of time.
For instance
, noodles and Maggie can be made in five to ten minutes of time, with packed ingredients, which are the main reason for a fat increase in the body. For these reasons, It leads to various problems like high blood pressure, heart related problems, and feeling tiredness mostly after doing small work.
For instance
, health report data shows that today, most of the people suffer from cardio related issue, which is directly due to extra fats accumulate in the pipe that goes from cardio vessel.
Although
they are young, they will be very lazy to do their daily routine. The only solution for
this
universal issue is to follow a regular healthy diet and regular physical activities. Children should be encouraged to play more outside games. In conclusion, Most of the western countries along with others, need to have a control on the health products which are with more junk and should encourage children to participate in physical activities, is the only solution for
this
obesity condition
Submitted by grthwh on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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