IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that it is necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. Others say that books, films and the Internet can be used as a source of information about different cultures. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #places #cultures #books #films #internet #source #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present circumstances,
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 has become a norm to learn about other societies.
However
Linking Words
, some people argue that learning through books, films and the Internet
also
Linking Words
 enables the community to acquire knowledge about different countries. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and will explain the reason in the following essay. One major reason why I believe various media can be used to learn about different cultures is
becauses
for the reason that; on account of
because
 there are manifold sources of information
that is
Linking Words
accesible
capable of being reached
accessible
 to everyone, from books, films
to
Suggestion
on
 the Internet. Those sources may provide people with valuable information about various cultures as long as they are conducted by professional people.
For example
Linking Words
, National Geographic is a famous TV programme which
usually travel
Suggestion
usually travels
 abroad to capture the beauty of the nature as well as provide the audience with knowledge about the land it has come to. The watchers can easily admire the magnificence of other countries and broaden their horizon at the same time. Another prominent example is the blog
LuxuryTravel
Suggestion
Luxury Travel
 on the Internet. Not only does
this
Linking Words
 blog discover the cuisine of a new
area it
Accept comma addition
area, it
 comes to, it
Linking Words
also explore
Suggestion
also explores
is also exploring
 the inhabitants,
costumes
money collected under a tariff
customs
, and traditions there. Another reason is that those paper-based sources or the Internet is
cheap so
Accept comma addition
cheap, so
 nearly everyone can endorse the cuisine of London to the extreme weather conditions of Antarctica. I consider it a short-sighted view that
ome
quantifier; used with either mass nouns or plural count nouns to indicate an unspecified number or quantity
some
 people may contend that the populace can only contemplate the culture of a new country when they truly come to that place.
Traveling
Suggestion
Travelling
 is expensive and sometimes luxurious,
therefore
Linking Words
 many people
can not
can not
cannot
 afford it. To illustrate, if I go on a vacation abroad, I will spend a fortune of money because of exchange rate. In conclusion, I firmly believe that books, films or the Internet can help people to have information about others cultures as long as the community chooses an appropriate source because they are available and inexpensive.
Submitted by Nguyen Ngoc Quynh Anh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: